dance dance dance...

I first saw this clip during the opening credits of the movie "Ghostworld" and have been obsessed with it ever since. I randomly look it up online and watch it for no reason other than to just get CRAZY. I don't really know its context in whatever movie it originated from, I don't know why the guys are all wearing masks, but I do know I like it. Every time I see it, I end up dancing in my room like the girl in gold (though hopefully not as haphazardly... she's a little nuts) and singing along to the words just because I like how they sound. What does "Jaan Pehechaan Ho" mean, you ask? Apparently its "If I knew you" but then again, I'm not much of a linguist.

So here's my challenge to you... turn up the volume and get up and dance and sing and get crazy too.. (and while you're at it, pick up your hairbrush and sing into it like I do... ) ENJOY!

Action and Consequence...

Ok.. so I messed up. I had a fight with my mom over the weekend, and it didn't get resolved like it should have been had I just apologized. So here I am, Monday morning and I'm miserable. And I mean... I have no patience for anyone, I'm gritting my teeth because every little thing is annoying me and I keep taking myself back to the arguement I had with her and how I should have just gotten off my high horse and ended it there. It was something pretty dumb too... totally not worth all the energy that has gone into it so far, and unremarkable enough that in about a week or two, I won't even know what we disagreed about.

Have you ever experienced that? Where you know you were in the wrong, but you don't want to apologize? My argument to myself as I drove to work was that when it comes to disputes with my Mom, there's just no winning. Even if you know the initial "thing" was TOTALLY not your fault, you should not have snapped at your mother because you should have respect for your elders and therefore, YOU should apologize. It's a little twisted and a little frustrating if you ask me, but that's the only way to fix it at this point.

But that's kind of beside the point. In this case, I know I was wrong. So, I'm going to have to humble myself and say sorry. And hopefully, she's going to say, "Don't do that again" and that will be the end of it. And life will go on. sigh. :P

** To prevent this post from sounding too depressing, it has to be known that really and truly, I love my mom to bits. I think we have so many arguments because really she and I are so similar. I get my stubborness from her. Therefore, it naturally follows that we should have the dumb little fights. At least, that's my logic.

OK .. so I caved.

So, after much deliberation, I have joined Twitter. I am now officially a sheep. Do you have an account? I was building it up to something so huge, and splashed all over the media was "twitter this and twitter that"... for what? a basic user interface and an efficient way to virtu-stalk a ton of people all at once. So, I'll try it for a while. We'll see how it goes.

I'm sorry.. reading that paragraph back to myself, it seems a tad attitude-y. I don't mean to sound like I'm cranky, because I'm not. Its FRIDAY!

I think I've been going about this blog all wrong. I gotta take baby steps with this. Maybe a couple of lines every week? That sounds realistic. I've just been creating huge blog posts and because they take so much time, I lack the motivation to keep this up. Thus, my last post was in April, and now it's mid-June. eep!

That's it for now. baby steps.

HAPPY EASTER!!

Hello!

So, once again, it's been a while since I last posted. I'm at work or traveling to/from work for most of the day and can't really blog from my desk there .... it's kind of frowned upon... so I can really only blog from home. Then, when I get home, I never remember to blog! hahaha Oh, man, I'm terrible. Hopefully I get my Blackberry soon (I've been just about itching to get it!), and then I'll be able to blog whenever I feel the urge :)

On another note, YAY! Tax season is almost done! We've been super busy at work, but come this Wednesday it will all be much much better (I hope). In the meantime, I had a great Easter and actually spent all of yesterday sorting out MY LIFE. I filed my taxes, tidied up all my files (I just have a weee bit more to go), cleaned up my room, organized my massive box of yarn (all those crochet patterns are waiting... my list of projects is practically a small novel), and rearranged my iPod playlists. It's all about priorities man! haha

Ok.. that's it for now, and once again like a dork I forgot to add pics of my current amigurumi projects, so I will soon.. I promise!

adieu,
Tina

I'm still here...

Wow.. already getting off track with my blog posts? That shouldn't be happening so soon...

Do you ever feel like you know you have a ton of things to do, but when the time comes to do the first thing on your list, you end up just blowing it off and doing something pretty much pointless? Yeah, that's been me lately. I have a number of projects I need to get done for myself (I even have them written down in order of importance, and when in the week I should work on each item), but for some reason, I always end up watching T.V. or checking my email or playing online games... *sigh*

Do I lack motivation? Obviously the reward of getting these things accomplished is not incentive enough... so what is to be done? Thinking about it a bit more, I really think I'm just daunted by all I have to do that I find myself just avoiding it all. That's just messed up. I think the list is a good idea, but I just need to make each task smaller so that I can get them accomplished little by little... "Monday, I'll get number 1, 2 and 3 done".... or maybe just 1 and 2? Well, whatever amount I end up doing each day, at least each of those is one less thing I need to get done. Gah. I guess I'll go get started then.

Oh, on another note, I'm super happy my uber-buddy Laura in Toronto got my belated birthday present! Snail mail took two weeks!!! Recently, I've started crocheting and am pretty much obsessed with Amigurumi, which are little crocheted creatures, animals, objects, etc... super cute stuff. I made her a little cactus (get it? Arizona...? hahaha) and shipped it on its merry way to a somewhat chilly Canada. Promptly named Coco upon her arrival, I'm sure she's adjusting nicely to the emerging greenery of Scarborough. :) At least she'll be enjoying it for me...

Once I get more stuff on my list done, I'll be sure to talk more about my Amigurumi fanaticism.... It's slightly disturbing actually... and there'll be pictures!

<3>

On a lighter note...

I can't help but feel I've been a little too serious in my blog... and to be quite honest, that's not who I am most of the time! I like to crack jokes as much as the next guy... so I came a cross this funny little comic online and felt I should share:


http://www.blogger.com/www.nataliedee.com

Life through 1.3 megapixels

So, in an effort to clear out some space on my measly little 1 GB micro SD card for my cellphone, I found myself suddenly staring at a treasure trove of mystery pictures from the past year and a half... Granted, they are a little grainy (that's what you get with less than two megapixels and no flash), but the warm fuzzies came rushing back, and I felt the urge to share.. So, I give you some of the very best.. not all, but definitely ones that brought a smile to my face :)

(RIGHT) The majority of pictures, I have to say, were clouds... there's just something about the Valley that funnels clouds in such an awesome way.. This one still blows my mind. (Also, it makes me a little concerned about my absent-mindedness.... as you can see, I was apparently driving at the time I took this.... oops.)















(LEFT) My goddaughter Kaillene, who was visiting from California -- she's notorious for making this funny face that makes everyone laugh. So, naturally, we all insisted she make the same face every chance we could.









(RIGHT) Early summer I think... Melanie was coming to L.A. to visit her brother, and at the last moment, Row and I decided to drive to the coast and meet her. Here I am trying to get both myself and Santa Monica Pier... this was the best shot of the bunch. haha






(LEFT) Happy Milk -- Its funny how so simple a picture can evoke such memories. At the end of last year, my Lola slipped and fell and hurt her head, so her doctor insisted she stay in a nursing home for a while to get stronger. It was one of the hardest things we ever had to do, and luckily it was only temporary and she was able to come back home and stay with us for her last months. But while she was there, we would all go and visit her every evening while she had dinner.... she never liked the milk there, for some reason, so I took this picture to make her smile. I see this one image and I miss her so much.











(RIGHT) Ahhh.. another sunset picture. I had about thirty of these.. every one slightly different, but each one so pretty... and because I drive home from work heading west, I'm sure I'll continue to add more of them with every day...



There really were so many, but as I said, these ones really hit me... all these memories came flooding back -- thoughts of people I love and miss, great moments of laughter and times of genuine sadness. 2008 was one heck of a rollercoaster... but, looking back, I don't think I would have done any of it differently if I had the chance. They're all a part of who I am right now-- and heading further into 2009.

Happy Lent!!

I suppose it would seem like an oxymoron to say such a thing, but truthfully that's how I feel about this time of the year. Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of the forty day period before Easter known to many Christians everywhere as Lent. It's a time of prayer and preparation, mixed in with a little fasting, reflection, penance ... all that good stuff. I suppose it actually sounds a tad terrible, and I admit when I was younger it seemed that way to me too. But this year, I'm genuinely happy that Lent is finally here.

For the past few months, life has been just soo crazy... the economy going all wonky and eating away at my retirement savings, errands and day-to-day tasks, all kinds of things going on at work... it was all getting to the point where my whole existence was starting to get out of focus. Lent has come just in time. Now it's all about removing that focus of me and all the stuff that's been going on in my life... because, in the grand scheme of things, it's not all that important.

I also never realized how many people could be so thrown off by a small black smudge on a person's forehead. In the past, I was either in a Catholic elementary school where all my other classmates had marks on each one of their little foreheads, or I was only able to go to Mass in the evening where... you guessed it... matching cross-shaped smudges all around. So to walk into an office at lunchtime (I took a half day off), and be met with confused looks and quick side glances... Well, it was definitely something I would need to get used to. No one was rude, in fact some co-workers were genuinely curious, which I found refreshing. Interestingly, there wer also some who met my forehead with a little defense, some even made little jokes... for whatever personal reasons they had. Quite frankly, and completely without any anger or animosity, I say that I don't really care. Wearing ashes on our foreheads are not - never - meant to flaunt our faith, to wag a finger at "the non-Christians" and make them feel sinful and inferior.

"From ashes you came, and to ashes you will return" --- and when you say "amen", you acknowledge this truth and that with such a short amount of time to live this life, you have to do it like you're ready to go at any moment. The best life you possibly can... for Him.

the first...

So here I am. I'm terrible when it comes to even checking my email, and what am I doing? Dear God, I'm starting a blog. I know it takes dedication, and I don't really know what I'll be talking about, but heck I'm doing it anyway... Actually, I think I tried to do this once, and it ended up being terribly depressing. It turned into some kind of perpetual venting session, and looking back on it I see I went about it all wrong. Focusing on the negative whether on a small space on the internet or out there in the big world is never really going to get me anywhere. For now, I think I'll just record little bits of my mind everytime I feel like it. I'll try to type up something every week or so... I hope. Well, I'll try to anyways. I don't really know if anyone will read it, and frankly I wouldn't really mind if that happened. Perhaps I'll make this some sort of personal-and-yet-posted-out-there-for-the-whole-world-to-read-if-they-knew-where-to-go journal? A cathartic sort of blog for myself? Yeah.. let's go with that for now. It's open-ended and I think I like it starting out that way... I guess my choice of blog title is quite fitting after all. "The Hopeful Pursuit" ... of what, you ask? We'll have to see, now won't we..?